From the World-Wide Resourses of the Western Australia Reserch Senter(*) OIL THE NEWS THAT FITS MY VIEWS =============================== In Any Run-Up to World War III, Reliably Reporting the News Relevant to Extreme Right-Wing Socialists Everywhere (validated for thought purity by the Office of Our Man in Can-berra). Our Web Cite: 29 Jan 2003. NY. Mr Frum is still trying to take credit for the "Axis of Evil" concept. Will this guy never learn humility like The Leader? Remember, it's not about OIL, it's about the US ECONOMY! NY. US media have complained the US case for war against Iraq is not being presented fairly in Iraq and neighbouring countries. Apparently Arab Media see it as a bad thing. The Iraqi population is particularly deluded, with NBC interviewers discovering the man-in-the-street thinks it's all about oil. Apparently they have been so indoctrinated they have never even HEARD of FREEDOM! It's NOT about OIL. It's about our right to own S.U.V's! NY. Former V.P. Al Gore has been arrested by the Dept of Homeland Security after he was found in the white pages near the listing for Al Qaeda. NY. Mr Bush has mentioned "jobs" after recent figures showed America lost 1.4 mn jobs last y. Markets lost ground in reaction to the mention of the word. The President is pushing for a tax cut to boost the right part of the economy, some kind of medical system reform to boost American longevity up to world standards, and measures to make unemployment less attractive to the unemployed. Economists say no measures will have any effect until after Iraq is defeated in the up-coming war. California. A couple of teens have killed their mom, cut off hands and head and dumped the body off a ravine. They claim they got the idea from some TV soap opera about murders and organised crime. Pffff.. NY. Consumer figures are out today and claim confidence is down to a 9 year low. What's the matter with you all? Get out there AND BUY SOMETHING! Other numbers suggest the production of durable goods is down. So buy a hamburger! The down closed around 8100, well above historic lows. Sydney. The Business Council has found 8,000 Aussie school-leavers don't get as 12th grade education. It's claimed this leads to poor employment prospects and poverty. L.A. 20 US firefighters have died this year. 3 mn ha have gone up in smoke with 71,160 fires registered. It's supposed to be double the 10-y average, but I have my doubts. 30 Jan 2003. Apparently the Asians still use some God-forsaken old calendar and it's about to turn "Year of the Goat". According to their superstitious beleivs The Goat symbolises bad news for girls born in this year, hence some last-minute action to get children born in the previous and superior Year of the Horse, but on the good side it's supposed to see an end to global wars and peace and harmony restored. Although I've lost my place in the Book of Revelation, my stars for today say "You have a desire to save the world. You have deep feelings of altruism and humanitarianism". What crap! Washington. Pres George W Bush Jr has used his State of the Union Address to make the case for war against other countries very clear to the American people. It had the desired effect, because polls after the speech now show 2/3 of the US population is in favour of attacking someone. The Dow Jones was up 1% on the news although economists complained there was "uncertainty" due to a lack of an attack timetable. In his sterling speech Mr Bush told Americans to forget about proof and just use their imaginations. Imagine if Iraqi's had developed nuclear weapons and given them to the 9/11 attackers? This may have been a reference to the "Buy USA" campaign. A tearful Mr Bush said he had been told by God to do what had to be done and everyone clapped. He told Americans that the US was all that stood between the American people and "a state of constant alarm". Earlier The President had promised America a health system similar to OECD standards. NY. With the Presidents popularity nearing its lowest ebb, reaction to his 2nd State of the Union address has been unanimously positive, particularly his reference to himself as "God's gift to humanity". Canberra. While PM John Howard is still denying Australia is preparing for war, he said he watched Mr Bush's speech with interest. Proving he's going senile, the Opposition Leader said Mr Bush's promise to release proof of Iraq's hidden weapons was "suspicious" and why hadn't it already been given to the UN to help weapons inspectors find the smoking gun? Washington. Paul Wolfowitz says Australia's stance is "clear". But he didn't want to pre-empt anything and contradict the Aus PM and say it had already been decided to attack Iraq. Brisbane. In another move to cut down on the Queensland road toll (remember: it's the system!) driverless cars have been touted as one solution. Observers say the extremely low speed of the vehicles shown on TV can only be a plus with the safety-conscious public. Tel Aviv. Ariel Sharon has won the Israeli elections by a landslide! Ya-hoo! With a 70% turnout Labour has been reduced to ashes and is still refusing to join a govt of national unity. Mitzner (due to be replaced by Peres sometime next week) claims this is all about a principled stand. Tokyo. In what officials say is merely a case of extremely slopping book-keeping and "nothing serious", 200 kg of plutonium has gone missing from the Japanese nuclear industry. Will some "experts" claim this enough to make 25 nuclear weapons, local industry reps say it's probably just that someone has made adding errors when checking stuff in and out of various company parking lots. Washington. Breaking away from handlers, Pres Bush said North Korea would not be allowed to blackmail the world and put him out of a job. He also told reporters that war was in the best interests of the Iraqi people. NY. Economists say a lot of questions "still haven't been answered". Will the Dow dipped during Mr Bush's S.U. speech, when some commentator mentioned "oil" on TV is rebounded, closing slightly higher on the day. Melbourne. Fires are still threatening significant areas of N Vic, S & mid-coast NSW and CBR. With temps likely to hit the 40s today, 100's of fires are still burning across the 2 states. It's day 23 of what is described as a "fire crisis". In N Tas rains is expected to quench fires there. Washington. The US has offered to arrange exile for Saddam Hussein and his family in some other country. Remember, it's not about disarmament; it's about regime change! Tel Aviv. PM elect Sharon still can't get Mitzner on the phone. While newspapers report the Labour leader is in danger of "disappearing without trace" he was seen last night celebrating his electoral win by singing old folk tunes accompanied by a piano accordion and Labour HQ. Someone was mumbling something about "the struggle for independence" and ALLEGED they had something to do with creating the State of Israel. As if! Maybe it's a Good Thing the phone is out! Canberra. PM John Howard says he can "say no more" about any plan to attack Iraq. Elsewhere US officials say Their Man in Canberra is in "lock step with [the US] on all significant issues". Cambodia. 1000s of Cambodians went into riot mode after some Thai starlette ALLEGEDLY claimed Ankor Wat should be returned to its rightful owners. Apparently this has been a simmering issue for the past 500 years. During the rampage the Thai embassy and a few Thai businesses were destroyed. In retaliation Thailand expelled the Cambodian ambassador. If those Asians would just learn about pre-emptive action, all this crap could be avoided! Washington. It's been revealed 800 gas masks on hand during Mr Bush's speech were not needed. Sydney. A study by the meat and poultry industry had found it would be better if people stopped eating pasta and went back to meat and 3 veg. Makes sense! London. A new report says a short sharp war against someone would be good for the world economy. Isn't that just like an economist? Trying to claim credit for Mr Bush's idea? CNN says investors in London are all in favour of a successful 4 week war against Iraq, given the US would win easily. The Brit tourism industry is particularly in favour of the move since pre-war jitters have seen an unhealthy number of Brits having around England. Sydney. Fires are still flaring across 2.5 states for the 3rd week. So far 400,000 ha have been burned out but the roads are nice and dry. In a sign that insurance claims may go up, "substantial rain" is reportedly needed. On the plus side, 21 elite US forest fighters are now on their way to put an end to our troubles. Washington. The US Fed Reserve has left interest rates on hold. The official number remains at 1.25%, it's lowest level in 40 y. London. Tony Blair has revealed North Korea is next on the hit list. During question time in Parliament he indicated after Iraq is "dealt with" N Korea would be disarmed according to the US plan. Economists have complained Mr Blair has left out important details that would sooth national markets, such as who are number 3 and 4 on the list? Canberra. PM John Howard has commended Mr Bush's S.U. address, saying the President has reminded us all that Iraq has been "thumbing its nose at the rest of the world". Paris. Polls still continue to show 4 out of 5 Europeans are against war with Iraq. What the Hell is wrong with those people? On the plus side, Mr Blair and Mr Bush have revealed 13 European countries have joined the Coalition Against Iraq in allowing over-flight of US aircraft during any war, if that is decided at some time. An Interpol APB has reportedly succeeded and the list of names is: Poland, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Slovenia, Estonia, Latvia, Cyprus, Malta, Latvia, Bulgaria, Lithuania, Romania, Estonia, Latvia, Cyprus, Poland and Turkey. Melbourne. Fire is said to be within 300m of lines at Mt Hotham. With 100 kph winds and 40 C temps in the area fire-fighters are having a job on their hands. Reps for the Resort say it will not be evacuated. Stout fellows! Washington. The Bush Administration says it will release newly-declassified CIA secret evidence that will contradict previous CIA evidence that said Iraq posed no threat unless attacked. The new evidence will indicate that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction. Melbourne. The Age reports the PM says he will maintain a pretence that Australia is not committed to a war against the Evil Axis and the current Iraqi regime. It says this has been undermined by Mr Bush's speech that clearly indicates after its failure to produce a smoking gun the US intention is war against Iraq. "(Saddam) is not disarming, he is deceiving", Mr Bush told the American public during his rousing address. He later accused Iraq of showing contempt for the UN and the rest of the world. Sydney. George Williams from the UNSW Centre of Public Law says the US and Australia will be breaking international law if they attack Iraq without UN permission. Mr Howard says the US move was "right". Canberra. New figures suggest 73% of females and 60% of Aussie males complete 12 years of education. These figures were checked by a female. Melbourne. Some Anglican Archbishop reportedly claims Christians against war with Iraq were not "misguided simpletons who should let US President George Bush and PM Howard get on with that they had to do". I think he was misquoted! In what appears to be some concerted peacenik effort from religious nuts all-over, some other church type offered the CFA to Washington to "put out bush fires". This is alleged to be an effort at humour. Former LP President (and don't they all go like this) John Valder railed against Our Man Howard, claiming hysterically war against Iraq would increase terrorism. He rambled on incoherently about "world economic havoc" and 100,000 deaths. Sydney. HIH auditors Art Anderson say it wasn't their fault. They had never suspected directors of any of the companies they investigated would try to mislead them. Washington. Looking forward to a time when Iraqi oil runs out, Pres Bush has called for $US1.2 bn to be given to oil companies to develop hydrogen-powered SUV's. Israel. In more good news from the Middle East, One Nation is reported to have won 4 seats in the Knesset. In other news, Shiui has won 15 seats, up 6 from last time and has rejected offers from Likud until it's guaranteed no religious parties will be included in a Govt of Unity. Likud is still reeling from success, with an expected 37 seat out of the 120 seats. With hard-right support it's expected to hold 67 seats. Labour, still clinging to alleged recent history related to independence, is down 7 from last time, winning only 19 seats. London. Medact (Britain's copy of the AMA) estimates war could kill 48,000 Iraqis directly, and another 20,000 in a following civil war. Another 200,000 may also die from "adverse health effects". Those doctors! Melbourne. 20,000 homes are reportedly without power due to fire and rain. But I'm alright! Canberra. PM John Howard has warned that photos of a non-smoking gun will be a lot different from pictures of a smoking gun like the missiles in Cuba. Asked by reporters what measures had been taken to protect Aussie troops fighting in Iraq, PM Howard said since no weapons of mass destruction were in the immediate area they would be alright. NY. Mr Powell told reporters the US will not be influenced by fear over what other people would or would not do. Madrid. A woman has been injured at a wildlife farm in SE Spain. Owners say the woman climbed up a 3m embankment and put her figures into a lion's cage. One of the lionesses grabber her, pulled her into the cage and ripper her arm off. Yeah. Things can snowball like that. Phnum Penh. 100s of Thai nationals have been evacuated following riots. 31 Jan 2003. Canberra. Living National Treasure PM John Howard has denied media reports he is being deceitful over Australia's firm commitment to an Iraqi war. Just because chances of war in the region were high, and Aussie troops are over there, he said, did not necessarily mean they will take part in the US-led war against Iraq. Adelaide. A S.A. MP has gone senile and decided to move from the ALP to the Greens. He claims this is a principled stand against media-oriented policies. Some parties apparently do what is popular and not what is right, according to this guy. Yeah. Right. NY. Shoe-bomber Richard Reid has been sentenced to life in prison for carrying a shoe bomb onto a trans-Atlantic aircraft and attempting to detonate it. In a rambling speech to the Court, Mr Reid said he had been motivated by US policy. In a pathetic attempt to justify his actions, Mr Reid linked the US with support of Islamic regimes that used torture. Sydney. In a story that's presently clogging all Aus-side news resources, a train has gone off the rails S of Sydney and 8 people are reportedly dead, with another 15 injured. In the lead-up to WWIII some reporters said the scene "looked like a war zone". We will all be about to compare these claims later against effects of 500 lb laser guided bombs. Canberra. The Federal Opposition claims $4 bn had been "secretly slashed" off the national defence budget. Yeah. Right. Melbourne. Bushfires (no relation) have stopped trains outside Sydney. Elsewhere, Vic firefighters are praying for rain. 15 mm fell around Mt Hotham last night, but more is needed. After gale-force winds and high temps around C and N Vic yesterday, firefighters are preparing for new onslaughts over the next couple of days. Washington. Pres Bush has welcomed talk of exiling Saddam Hussein and any "henchmen" to "end the showdown". "For the sake of the free world" he said the issue would be resolved "in weeks, not months". Previously Mr Bush had told reporters Saddam Hussein would not be permitted to threaten the economic security of the US by his continued monopoly on vital resources in the region. Sydney. Following bushfires that have revealed asbestos problems in houses in rural and regional Australia, the NSW govt says it will do an inventory of the state's schools. The ALLEGEDLY cancer-causing substance has been found in 2 N beach schools already, and 6 bags were reportedly discovered yesterday after they had not been removed from a Catholic school. Italy. In an effort to get EU of its ass, Mr Bush is talking to his bestest buddy the Italian PM today. Respect is mutual. Mr Berlisconi says the US is the "best friend" Italy has. Mr Bush saus Mr Berlisconi is his best friend. In related news, the Italian PM has announced he will not retire if found guilty in a corruption trial. Earlier the PM suffered a defeat in not having the trial moved to a friendly court. S Africa. Nelson Mandella has gone senile, railing against US Pres George Bush in front of an all-black audience. He said the US should not be allowed to "bludgeon the world into a holocaust" and claimed Mr Bush "clearly can not think properly". Washington. Mr Bush says Saddam Hussein will "not escape punishment". He again endorsed an idea of allowing the Iraqi leader and henchmen to go into exile. Remember, it's not about oil; it's about punishment! Afghanistan. 4 American soldiers died in a Blackhawk crash today, bringing to 50 the total death toll on the winning side. NY. AOL Time Warner have posted the biggest loss in world history, bringing the markets down 2%. The Dow closed around 7950. AOL reports the company was $170 bn in the red last y. Chair Ted Turner says he'll retire sometime later this y. It's reported he's been cut back from a multi-billionaire to a $US1 bn billionaire. Life is tough all over! In other news US growth is reported sharply down, with help wanted adds down to levels not seen since 1963. London. In another hysterical claim against fast food, new research ALLEGEDLY says fat-based nutrition has an effect on the human brain similar to drugs. McD's have announced they are very interested in the idea and have called for more study. Melbourne. A man has been sent for trial after a failed bid to poison the city's water supplies. While it's not know if the man is of Middle-Eastern appearance, TV reports say he anonymously contacted media, claiming 2 home made bombs linked to commercial quantities of cyanide had been planted in 2 city reservoirs. Apparently he wanted the prices of certain stocks to be manipulated in payment for location of the devices. Germany. Nuremberg is holding the world's largest Toy Fair this week. They say everything has a chip in it these days. Commentators say collectors are the biggest factor that's being taking in account by manufactures this season. Remember, it's for the kids! Canberra. A record trade deficit is expected for December. Markets are preparing. Washington. President Bush did NOT get Iran and Iraq confused when he said Saddam Hussein was the ruler of Iran. Apparently he'd just seen a slide-show put on by Don Rumsfeld from the time under the Reagan Whitehouse when he went to Iraq to congratulate the Evil Dictator for being removed from America's list of Countries That Sponsor Terrorism. Iraq was then pasting the Other Evil Dictatorship of Iran with mustard gas shells. How things have gone down hill since then! London. BBC reports Brit Intel reveals Al Qaeda has successfully built at least one dirty nuclear bomb in W Afghanistan. Don't worry. We're sure it's still there... somewhere. Israel. In after-election celebrations, Israeli Army soldiers dressed as arabs have shot dead 2 militants. Also injured were 8 non-militants, including 2 teenaged girls when the soldiers entered the cafe. Elsewhere, bulldozers and tanks gave started remodelling Hebron. === (*) Who is responcible for the W.A.R.S? A small group of dedicated sangropers, bannana-benders and 5th columnists linked to various like-minded regimes around the world. 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